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10 Jun, 2023

Domestic Violence, What are we Doing About It with Pip Rae

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Pip is a Private Investigator for Family & Domestic Violence. She is a former Police Officer having joined when she was 19 and spent nearly 20 years with the New South Wales Police. It was there she developed a real passion and focus to help people in crisis.

Pip developed PTSD from her career as a result of the different types of trauma she collected along the way. Pip didn’t like the person she was becoming.

After leaving the Police Force Pip entered the world of Domestic Violence Investigative Journalism.

She leads a team of Female Investigators who specialise in Domestic and Family Violence. She helps people identify abusive behaviours to give them the confidence to walk away from that relationship or in to a police station to report it.

Pip shares her journey and help us learn how to identify Abuse & Abusive behaviours.

I ask Pip if there is a common set of behaviours/events that lead to the abuse and abusive behaviours?

We talk about the importance of honesty, trust and transparency. If any of one of these pillars falls over then this creates a domino effect…

Pip explains about strategies of abusers and how abuse is created/co-created. Abuse can be enabled and Pip gives insights in to what this means and what can be the consequences when you enable your partner. Abuse is on a spectrum. Pip refers to clusters of behaviours including the “chilling effect.”

Pip in her book “The Big Book of Abuse” refers to 136 behaviours that she has identified have contributed to the escalation of violence.

We talk about the impact of the Pandemic in the area of Family and Domestic Violence.

I ask Pip about Male Suicide and what she thinks drives men to contemplate ending their life. Self worth plays a huge role.

We delve into the impact having children has on relationships for couples and what we can do to plan for this and strategies to keep the spark going.

Sleep – We discuss it in the context of it’s impact on family and domestic violence. Pip shares how important sleep and rest are for reducing cortisol levels.

We discuss the impact of financial stress and how couple’s navigate being financially joined at the hip. We look at it in terms of being a Man and also from the perspective of a woman and options open to couple’s for a positive resolution.

Pip shares how children are effected and how best to help them and protect them.

We finish up on Pip sharing information about her business Upstream Investigations  which supports mostly women navigate this tricky space.

Pip’s final message is for men to give the women in their life the gift of safety and remind them that they are in a safe space and that they can come to you. Doing this will be returned to you in spades!