Strengthen a Pillar of Connection – Your Authentic Voice
Emmy Sobieski, founder My10Min, worked 80-100 hour weeks while competing at Olympic level sports. She provides workshops, courses, and coaching, focusing on fitting in self-care 10 minutes at a time: connection, nutrition, resilience and movement.
Many men are told to bring the energy – be heard – be bold! Yet true connection can only happen with your authentic self, and a large part of this is your authentic voice. Being heard is about building tools to feel comfortable speaking in different situations, and finding the inner calm and confidence to be silent.
This article covers tips to level-up your speaking and how to use the power of the pause.
Why do we speak?
Many men are expected to sell, lead, and communicate as if it is innate. But why? We speak to connect, and people want to connect with the real authentic you. The person you are relaxing with your friends.
Why do we feel different in different situations?
All those years of school teach us a brain-first way of learning. When we speak in pressure situations, we use our brain to correct our speaking. And yet, we have been speaking all your lives! Kids learn quickly through play, and you can leverage this power. Play enables flow and allows you to access the 80% of communication that is non-verbal, bringing forth your whole personality.
You can rediscover your true voice through play
Like many of the men I work with, I had a deep belief that I was a natural communicator. I spent time and money on public speaking coaches only to be more nervous and stiffer. Then I discovered Ultraspeaking.
The co-founder, Tristan de Montebello used play to get into flow, to become the fastest ever to qualify for the Toastmasters Speaking World Championships. I became an Ultraspeaking coach and now witness men finding their voice, sharing their true selves and feeling worthy in this world, all empowered by playing public speaking games.
What are the principles of Ultraspeaking?
How to talk:
- Vary intensity (fast/slow) and tonality (high/low energy and emotion)
- Stay in character – your audience doesn’t know you are nervous
- Talk to the audience as you would a friend – connection is the goal. Share your personality
- Pause – Give your audience time to absorb and you time to get grounded
- End strong – Pause as your one final step, allowing your audience to respond positively
Things to talk about:
- One thing – Commit to a direction of the one thing you want your audience to remember
- Tell stories – made more powerful in the present and using “I” narrative
- Share personal anecdotes. Jump into action; take us on your journey!
You already know how to speak of course. It is a matter of practicing and playing to develop all the tools you need so you can tap into your unique authentic self, even in stressful situations.
